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"I hear his girlfriend’s a drug pusher"

"Oh, so that’s how he got so skinny!"

-GH & KO

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"Everything outside is a sport! Like kite-flying…"

— D

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"Money makes you eccentric. If I was a billionaire, I’d just tie $5000 cheques to bricks and throw them at people. But people wouldn’t even get mad because they’d think I was just being eccentric!"

— D

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"All you do is hate on my dick."

— SH

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"I’m sorry. You’re pretty… but you’re REALLY annoying."

— DC (on a girl that kept propositioning him while drunk)

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"He’s a total cheese dick."

— DP

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"Goody bags should be mandatory after a one night stand."

— EM

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"Oh, he’s becoming a cop? That makes sense. She’s a horrible person."

— IN

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"I’m a doctor. I wear a white coat to work."

"Oh. So, you work at Clinique?"


- A & S

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"Why is the bus going so fucking slow? It’s like a fucking snail."

— Angry girl on the bus